One of the most difficult things about being an entrepreneur is the feeling of isolation, of being alone against the elements.
And although few people ever dare to talk about this, this feeling of isolation can be exaggerated when the people in your life who are supposed to support you, well, don’t.
Hey, even though you believe in what you’re doing and have faith that your ideas will lead to great things, it’s not always easy for those around you to get on board with your ideas of expansion…
… especially when it comes to investing money in growing your business.
Ever experience having a conversation with your partner about investing money in your business and not getting the answer you wanted?
This week’s new 7-minute content video (and script) may help you turn things around:
Admittedly, I’m going out on a limb here today, addressing a subject that few would ever touch.
In my many years of working with students in The Client Attraction Business School, I’ve come across countless business owners who want to invest in their business but experience backlash from their life (or business) partner.
Many times, the entrepreneur feels as though they have to decide between a thriving business and a happy home life…:(
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
In today’s video, I explain why most partners are initially hesitant about having you invest in your growth and what to say to bring them over to your side, believe in you and support your decision to invest in yourself.
After you watch today’s video, please tell me in the comments: What would you invest in (financially) if you finally had your spouse or business partner’s full support?
I am really looking forward to supporting you to achieve even bigger results.
Contrary to popular belief, you really can have it all.
See you in the comments.
I’m rooting for you from the sidelines, OK? Go!
xoxo,
Fabienne
p.s. Can you think of other entrepreneurs who secretly (or not so secretly) struggle with this too? Would you send them this blog so they can have more confidence and conviction in their own business or life?
I’m thrilled to introduce you to one of our standout students of The Client Attraction Business School™, Love and Passion Coach Stacey Martino. Please welcome Stacey as our first guest contributor to the Client Attraction blog. As always, we’d love to hear your feedback. Please post your comments and questions below. ~ Fabienne. Connect with Stacey on Facebook here.
Ever come back from a phenomenal personal development event or program and feel like “no one in my regular life gets me?”
I’ve spent the last two decades in the personal development field and coached countless people who are on the path of personal development. One thing I’ve noticed, repeatedly, was the struggle that people on the personal development path had assimilating back into the “muggle world” (as Fabienne so perfectly named it).
I noticed a pattern as people came back into their every-day life, where one of two things would happen. Either they would spew unwanted personal development stuff all over the people around them, or worse, they would go back to playing small so as not to alienate the people close to them.
This breaks my heart. So, I created a tool to help my clients maintain their long lasting breakthroughs AND cultivate their personal relationships at the same time! Because YES, you can have it all!!
When your relationships are not where you want them to be it impacts every area of your life… your confidence, your self-worth and your happiness. (Click here to tweet this.)
First, let me explain, that there are two groups of people in your life today.
The first group consists of the people in your life who GROW with you. They hold you to a higher standard, challenge you to be the best version of yourself and will reach out and pull you up to your next level.
The other group of people in your life is your friends and family. They are the people who love you and have known you the longest. They are NOT on the personal development path right now.
Pain happens when you interact with your friends and family, as if they are part of that first group (those who grow with you) and you share your growth and development work with them. I understand. It’s not easy to watch the people in your life suffer when you know you have a distinction that can help them.
But what you are missing is the flip-side of that interaction. It’s also painful for your friends and family.
While you are coming from the most loving of intentions, when you offer unwanted personal growth, what your friends and family actually hear is “I guess you don’t think I’m good enough the way I am.”
They feel rejected.
So you both end up feeling bad. And the relationship gets strained. This is where too many people, end up distancing themselves from people they just don’t know how to “be” with.
I created a tool called Right Hand/Left Hand to help my clients integrate long lasting change into their lives in a way that enhances their personal relationships too! Here’s how it works:
Put your hands out in front of you, palms up.
In your left hand is the people you grow with. When you are in your Left Hand, you get support, validation, growth and personal development.
In your right hand is your Friends and Family. You only go to your right hand to GIVE! GIVE unconditional love and compassion to each and every one of them! You are a force for good in their lives!
You go to your left hand to GET, and out of that growth, YOU have the potential to GIVE unconditionally to your friends and family!
Left Hand = You go to GROW
Right Hand = You go to GIVE
Most people will go through their entire lives never having anyone give them unconditional love and compassion for exactly who they are. You have the ability within you to be that person for your friends and family! Don’t sell yourself short and distance yourself. Step in!
How does this relate to your relationships—both personal and professional? When your relationships are not where you want them to be it impacts every area of your life… your confidence, your self-worth and your happiness.
As a love and passion relationship expert, I help my clients to reignite the passion and create rock solid alignment with their partner.
When you are creating transformation in your intimate relationship, measuring what you are GETTING back will actually block the progress that you desire. During the transformation process, you need to GIVE unconditionally to your partner!
It is during this time, when you are creating your magnificent love affair that you must put your partner into your Right Hand, with your friends and family. Give them unconditional love!
And that is the key to constantly growing and developing while enhancing the relationships in your life—so you can be the best version of yourself and have the greatest relationships with the people you love too!
Stacey & Paul Martino are the founders of LoveAndPassionCoach.com and the creators of the Relationship Transformation System™, the proven step-by-step Relationship Transformation program helping people all around the world create their unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime!
With nearly two decades in personal development, Stacey is trained and certified as a Marriage Educator and Divorce Preventionist by Tony Robbins of Robbins Madanes. Start creating your magnificent love affair today, click here to get your free audio program How to Transform Your Relationship in Eight Steps.
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My topic for today is about something that most people who teach marketing and client attraction don’t ever speak about. It is about getting your spouse on board to believe in you. I work with hundreds and hundreds of entrepreneurs. Most of them are women in my Client Attraction Winners Academy. Invariably throughout the course of the year or just as someone is wanting to work with me they’ll express, “I really want to do this, but I wonder if my husband or my spouse or my partner will let me.”
I always find that fascinating—the “let me” part. Now, for you it could be your family or business partner who isn’t “letting you”. I’m always fascinated by that and say, “Well, this is your business. Why are you letting other people make decisions?” But, I also see it from the spouse’s point of view because often entrepreneurs are married to non-entrepreneurs and I don’t just mean that “they have a job and you have a business.”
(Click here to tweet this.)
There’s more to it because it’s also in the wiring. As an entrepreneur you are somebody who begins things. Entrepreneur comes from the French word entreprendre, which means to start things, to begin something brand new. You’re an entrepreneur, while others are follow-through people, who like to do things in a different way. Usually, the entrepreneur is wired in a different way than their spouse. There are plenty of assessment tests that show that.
In a relationship, sometimes the spouse is the person who is more calculated and less of a risk taker. So anything that you do in your business is looked at as new and might be judged by your partner as, “Oh, no. Here she/he goes again, starting something new. Why can’t you do something safe?” Well, we as entrepreneurs are natural risk takers. It could be calculated risks, but we’re still taking risks. It’s all in the wiring.
If you want to get your partner or spouse to believe in you, there are a few things that I recommend:
1. Involve them in your learning. If you are learning how to get more clients, involve your spouse or your partner in the learning with you. If you’re learning from me, watch these videos together. Again, if you’re learning from me and if you’ve invested in one of my programs then go through the program with them. If a live meeting or if there’s a live component, it’s especially important that you do whatever you can to involve your spouse.
Many years ago I would say to my husband, Derek, “I don’t understand why you don’t pay attention? You don’t really put a lot of effort into finding out more about my business.” He was supportive in all of the right ways. He just didn’t really have any interest. I’d say, “I need you to know about my business.” His response was, “I don’t feel like I need to tell you about fixed income technology and what I do at work at the end of each day.” I always responded that it’s different because when it’s your own business it’s like a part of you. It’s like a limb or a child.
But, the minute that I involved Derek in the learning by taking him to a marketing seminar and then a mindset seminar he became very, very involved.
2. Show your spouse or partner how hard you are working at implementing what you’re learning. Your partner probably wonders if this is just another thing that you’re into, “Oh, here you go again.” So, if you attend a seminar, make sure that you implement everything and share how you’re doing this with them.
If you are learning from a mentor or coach like my clients work with me, show your partner how much you’ve implemented because obviously you don’t get results from things you don’t implement. They want to see the return on investment, so show them that! Show them that the proof is in the pudding. Show them the money because if they see that they can be more supportive of you.
3. Reassure them. They might not be supportive because they feel threatened a little bit. Maybe they’re threatened that you have this great business and you’re getting such satisfaction and meaning and fulfillment out of it. They could also feel threatened that you will move on. Once you get famous in your business there may be this subconscious, underlying thought that says, “Oh, what if he or she gets so successful that they’ll leave me behind.” I know this is something that most people don’t talk about, but we see it on a daily basis and I’ve experienced it myself.
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If you do all of these things—you reassure your partner that you’re staying there and you’re getting great results and you’re getting a return on investment and you involve them, you will begin as I did, to get above and beyond the support that you’ve been getting so far in your business. Try it. It really works.
We’ve done this with hundreds of clients at this point. Sometimes the spouse or the partner quits their job like mine did and comes full time into the business. This may not be what you’re looking for, but sometimes it happens too. Good luck!
